One of my favourite poets is Maya Angelou, and of her many inspiring poems about change and success, I love Haters (no irony intended). In the following excerpt of Haters, she in essence, defines a “Hater”:
HATER BY MAYA ANGELOU
A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends
all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough!
When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters…
That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share
your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t
handle seeing you blessed…
It’s dangerous to be like somebody else… If God
wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?
You never know what people have gone through to get what they have…
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don’t know my story…
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the
fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!
We’ve all got some haters among us!
Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn’t about the right thing)
e) Raise your children without both parent being in the home
Haters can’t stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.
How do you handle your undercover haters?
You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are (VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life:
Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.
Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live…when its your time to leave this earth, you ‘want’ to be able to say, ‘I’ve lived my life and fulfilled ‘my’ dreams,… Now I’m ready to go HOME!
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters,
‘Don’t look at me…Look at Who is in charge of me…’
Pass this to all of your family & friends who you know
are not hating on you including the person who sent it to
you. If you don’t get it back, maybe you called somebody
out! Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem,
it’s theirs.. Just pray for them, that their life can be as
fulfilled as yours! Watch out for Haters…BUT most of all don’t
become a HATER!
‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that
a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’
This is such a wonderful and motivational poem, especially for young women, because so many times, we find ourselves surrounded by “friends” and people with so much negativity, that we often find ourselves at a lost at what to do. How do we cope with that constant barraging of our self-esteem, our emotions, our spirits? How are we supposed to hold our heads high when we know that people are constantly plotting behind our backs?
Well, the 3 bits of advice from Maya is a perfect way to start off.
Girly It Girls know about Haters. We know that they are all trying to bring us down by gossiping, spreading rumours, lies, deception, turning others against us…and the list could go on.
But we Girls know how to handle it. We know that we are defined not by their definitions, but by OUR definitions of ourselves. We know that we must hold our heads high in the face of trials and tribulations, because we are stronger than they are, and we know that they are merely jealous because we ARE better than they are. We don’t ever have to feel attacked or abused by them, nor do we have to lose ourselves (which is what they want), because we know that there only reason for their haterism, is their jealousy. So Girly It Girls instead, we feel sorry for them. We forgive them because we know that they are pitiful creatures whose only source of pleasure in life comes from the need to inflict pain on others, which truly, is a very sad thing.
One thing which Maya Angelou makes very clear of, is that we are in turn, not Haters. This brings me to my very important point:
GIRLY IT GIRLS ARE NEVER HATERS.
We do not judge others, or be snobby to others, because we do not know their stories. Just as we do not like to be judged, so too must we refrain from judging others. We really never know what goes on in another person’s life that made them the way the are. We don’t know the work that an individual may put in in order to have a great job, a big house, a fancy car etc.
Girly It Girls are true friends, who never have an ulterior motive. They are strong, independent women who are confident in the themselves and who can motivate and inspire others to become better individuals, and agents of social change.
Girly It Girl <3